Episode 007 - Kids Camp: Beware of Privacy Breaching Momfluencer
- Julie Kim
- Apr 2
- 11 min read
Updated: Apr 13
Get ready to be BOTHERED by the story of a mother who sent her daughter to her first overnight camp, only to discover that a parent volunteer was posting real-time photos of the campers and their locations on a public Instagram account. Despite being asked to remove the content by the camp, the parent only took down the photos specifically naming the campsite (there were multiple). Alarmingly, there were likely no official policies in place, and it became clear that relying on people's decency and common sense was not enough to ensure the privacy and safety of the campers.
Join comedian Julie Kim as she describes this story with far too many expletives, and some initial suggestions for much needed change.
Family Privacy and Safety Rules
Do you show your kid’s face or other identifying features on social media and the internet? We do not for multiple reasons:
She’s a person with autonomy. At 6 years old or however old she is (see? protecting privacy), I’d rather err on the side of caution. Not even “erring” - gah so many of our phrases are so stupid, English! I’d rather be cautious. Because there are people and various kinds and degress of f*ckery out there that threaten peoples' safety.
She’s cuter than me. 🤣
I’m also scared of her. I am raising a little girl who will become the type of woman who would sue her own mother for breach of privacy.
Whatever the reasons, it’s a decision that is ours and other people should simply respect it.
For myself, I seek permission from other parents to even show the back of their kid’s head or coat in an Instagram Story.
Even though a Story is up for 24 hours, it doesn’t get erased. It’s stored, and owned by Meta. They haven’t promised any of us that it’s not coming back in some form at some time.
It’s basic respect and courtesy. It’s also common sense. Maybe not that common.
But a bit of an offshoot of that and maybe people don’t talk about it as much because it’s a more specific scenario… is that when your child or someone else' child is somewhere, you don’t tell the world about it in real time. And you provide a virtual pin to the location. FFS I'm already angry and I haven't started the story yet.
First Overnight Camp
Last year, my daughter went on her first overnight camp. It was a major milestone and a big deal for all of us.
My husband and I (he’s probably the dad) had so many emotions:
Sadness: our little girl is growing up fast and has willfully decided she’s okay without us for multiple consecutive nights.
Pride: we helped her grow in strength and self-assuredness to go forth and be adventurous.
Happiness: we got a break and had a “date weekend.”
We sent her with faith and trust that she won’t be too much of a menace and will be taken care of by the volunteer camp counsellors and supervisors. Also, some female parents were going. It was an all-female camp – female kids and adult kids.
The camp provided a checklist of items my daughter would need and we got it all last minute of course. We even purchased things we didn’t have because we’re not a camping family (yet). We bought the most basic camping essentials, like a sleeping bag and flashlight. We didn’t even have those! But now we have them! Wherever they are.
Why aren’t we a camping family? My husband doesn’t like discomfort. He’s okay with the idea of camping and other people camping, but not him actually physically camping.
He will camp as in roasting marshmallows, eating, telling stories, until it’s time for bed. Nothing in the horizontal position at night. No sleeping on the ground. Essentially, he’s into picnics.
On the first night, we wondered how my daughter was doing but were comforted by the fact she had friends there, too. Plus, there was one mom friend who volunteered to go (bless her beautiful soul). In effect, she was our spy.
Finally, Time to Unwind? Nope!
As my husband and I were enjoying our first night of “date weekend,” a friend sent me an Instagram Story screenshot. She asked if my kid was one of the kids pictured in it.
It was one of over 20 Instagram Stories that a parent volunteer shared on her PUBLIC INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT.
Sharing Stories Around The Fire
Again, there were over 20 Instagram Stories and counting (she kept adding more). This was basically a livestream! From the outdoor shots that showed the sun going down, the Stories seemed to be more or less in real time. She showed:
Kids on trails and parks which showed some of their faces,
Small groups by the water wearing their cute colourful coats and backpacks,
The inside of cabins where some kids slept in,
Tents with a caption that said what age group slept in them.
A meal plan that showed the fun food and drinks planned AND the camp’s name and duration, and finally
A map of the whole camp site showing in very good detail the local roads, tent areas, buildings, and meeting areas for the whole weekend.
See below for recreations using stock photos, because it's the decent thing to do. The irony of speaking of empowering girls while exposing them on social media was possibly "the best".
👆 Click through the gallery of re-created IG stories on a PUBLIC INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT 👆
This was all a staggeringly idiotic and irresponsible breach of privacy for dozens of kids, families, and volunteers, some of whose faces you could see and they probably didn’t want anyone to know where they’d be sleeping that weekend.
Kid Safety 101, no?
Even if only parents follow this account – some parents are creeps. Reluctant nod to dentist dad in Oregon who spiked the smoothies at his daughter’s sleepover. And creeps who are not parents can easily view Stories for children and families on a public fucking Instagram account. How can someone not know to not be an idiot, and to be more careful?
I don’t assume she got explicit consent from the parents of the kids whose faces, backpacks, and coats (i.e., bodies) were shown online. Coats and backpacks are everyday wear for many kids. They ARE visual identifiers for kids. Even a hair style can be a kid’s main visual identifier – like a cute little afro or long slick black pigtails or a bowl cut (they’re back btw).
If I’m scanning through a crowd of kids to spot mine at pick up from camp, I’m looking for her [insert colour/pattern] coat and backpack. Fun fact, I’m not a robot and can’t scan her facial features from 100-200 feet away. Same with most humans.
Still living about this unfathomable lack of common sense and consideration from whoever was posting.
Gut Check, ChatGPT Check
Sometimes I over-react. But I was sure that I wasn't over-reacting. Every single person I've told has also reacted with no less than a "WTF?".
I even asked AI TODAY if this is a real problem and trying to figure out what to call it. The response told me that it's even more of a problem than I suspected.
Irresponsible Momfluencer
I needed to know – who the F was doing this?! Why? I needed it to make sense.
This turned out to be one of many social media accounts that shares stuff happening in and around the city for kids and families. Generally, I love these accounts! But this one looks to be the woman's personal account, as it shows pictures of her and her kids. But she's set it up to also be a resource, and possibly a business. She seems to do some sponsored posts showing local activities and cafes. The account has a few thousand followers.
I love a hard working mom, a momfluencer, a small business entrepreneur, all of it. Go get it, girl. But in this context – what a stupid dumb bitch move and are you stupid?
Fishing for Likes and Comments
The friend who alerted me about the Stories was not really surprised. The owner of the account posting is a mom that my friend knew and they previously shared a video of another parent’s kid on her public account, too (without asking). That parent had to ask for the photo to be taken down.
Another source who knew the owner of the account told me she was a nice person, but some nice people are stupid. We shouldn’t confuse the two.
The other source said this isn’t the first time this person had breached other peoples’ privacy before. She told me that this person had found a package in her building’s mailroom, took a picture, and posted it on the neighbourhood’s Facebook community group to let someone know their package was in the lobby. The picture clearly showed the person’s full name, address, and get this: their phone number.
TM fucking I. I would HATE if someone found my package or ID and posted a picture of it in a neighbourhood Facebook group!
Also, she could have just called or texted that person with the information on the package, which was also in her photo (she had the information twice!). OR she could have taken the package to the concierge desk to hold it securely. But no, the good deed must be made public because it feels good to get a “thanks for being such a great neighbour!” comment on a post, especially when you need to get a life. Harsh? Maybe, probably also true.
But really, when someone’s desire to share and be seen is greater than common sense – something’s off. Some people are a bit aloof. Good for them. I’d be a lot less angry if I were aloof. But I can’t choose my childhood traumas. LOL .
This mom is welcome to out her and her kid’s location, but not dozens of other kids, volunteer moms, and certainly not my fucking child.
What's The Worst The Could Happen?
The worst thing that could happen is any parent’s worst nightmare. Abduction, kidnapping, etc. etc. Shudder at the thought.
We’re all aware of safety issues related to children and there is no doubt what horrific things can and does happen to girls and women in this world.
So, WHO THE F doxes an entire fucking camp full of girls and women in a secluded area?? On a public Instagram account?? I realize that I’m repeatedly asking this question in different ways. I still can’t believe that this actually happened.
Who needs candy? Who needs to lure kids when this “well-meaning” moron has gathered all the fish in a pond and sent a giant digital smoke signal saying: “Here are a lot of little girls who aren’t optimally protected and it’s going to be dark soon.”
She essentially served up our kids and dozens of women to any pedo or demented person with bad intentions.
Let me emphasize that this was was an:
All female camp. Little school-aged girls, younger than teenagers. Supervised by only female VOLUNTEERS and parents.
In a secluded area.
It was getting dark.
Also, and I didn’t ask why, but it was purposefully all female. They didn’t even accept male parents as volunteers. Although in this case I would have been glad to know there were a bunch of alert and good dads or moms camping around the perimeter of the camp.
Taking Remote Action
Well, my night of relaxation was over. I had a campful of potentially at-risk kids to potentially help protect from afar.
I sent a text message to the camp’s point of contact for my kid’s group to say something like, “Hey, wtf is this?” She got it immediately, and was also in disbelief that somebody would do this.
Thankfully, they dealt with it within 30 minutes.
Eventually the account took down content but ONLY the Stories with the camp’s name.
But the texting and following up took a while, and of course was consuming. I was super fucking angry.
This person was probably not actually reprimanded or directed to stop. Volunteer camp counsellors aren’t going to smack down hard on a privacy policy at camp that probably doesn’t exist. Also camp counsellors, in my experience, are young adults and sometimes teenagers. They don’t perceive that they have that kind of authority with grown fucking parents who should know better.
As night fell, she kept sharing stories of the camp! What was happening!
She kept posting into the morning. She shared a picture of the kids’ shadows in a cabin, one picture had the caption, “[Insert daughter's name] woke up at 5 a.m. today.”
Note to abductors: be sure to come before they’re conscious tomorrow at 4:45 a.m.
I’m surprised she didn’t include an affiliate link to Home Depot’s sale on duct tape and cable ties.
I’m dead!
I’m glad the children are not.
What To Do If This Happens To You?
There’s no way to report an Instagram story specifically because someone’s identified you or your kid and location. You can’t be like “Other - Report – that dumb bitch just showed my kid’s bluey backpack. Now I have to buy a new fucking backpack.”
I've reviewed the reasons you can report an Instagram post, and I found the option that I think is best but still super imperfect. It also triggers no action, just potential removal. And it doesn't even send someone to go a bonk the user on the head and wag a finger in her face to tell them off and shame them. Imperfect.
If you find something better, let me know!
But also, I can’t just monitor every public or private account run by another parent. How about we have some common-sense guidelines? Like don’t be a stupid moron.
LOL ok ok, I’ll propose something productive now. Let’s see…
Mind and Address the Gap
Most people I've talked to, and the camp counsellor I texted when this sh1tstorm was going down, don't know of an official policy or rule requiring people not to take or share pictures or locations of other peoples' children.
Daycares and schools and camps… they all present you with a photo release waiver. Usually, it's a tick box asking if they can share photos of your child in our newsletters or on their website. I often say no, and I’ve experienced that people are not used to that.
We need more awareness. Maybe communications before camp, maybe signs around the camp site like this.
Inner monologue that I assumed that an adult woman accompanying children on a camp weekend would consider (and perhaps we know others who should consider):
Let's deal with my identity crisis. Am I a business account? Am I a personal account? I should figure this sh1t out, then post accordingly.
Some of the other kids' parents would probably not want me telling strangers where they are over a whole weekend including overnights. Maybe some of them are lawyers who could sue me if something happened and imagine if one was a comedian with a blog that fewer than 35 people read per week. She might not be that nice because this is a very serious thing to her and very stupid of me. Lucky for me, she'd protect my identity because she is a decent person. I should consider doing fewer indecent things like showing the faces and locations of other peoples' kids on my public Instagram account. I should get a private account and some common sense.
It's so beautiful up here, as I indicated in my very numerous public Instagram Stories (so many in succession that it was pretty much a livestream). Maybe I'll put the phone away. Or I'll take some pictures of just my own kids and post after we're all out of this remote campsite. It's just 2 days.
But, no. It seems like none of those thoughts swirled around this person's brain and sensibilities.
To offer something productive, I asked ChatGPT for the basis of a set of guidelines that anyone could access and use as desired and required. Maybe the camp that you work at or are sending a kid to does not yet have such guidelines. And really these should be part of any contract for any parents or kids or employees or volunteers anywhere kids are involved. I'm not a lawyer, though. I did score over 170 on the LSAT but that was years ago and I mention it only to feel that there was some value to paying the hefty fees for the prep course. Anyways, Here you go.
Maybe (as in, for sure) we can all be more aware and proactive to protect our kids, ourselves, and our rights to have a relaxing few days off when our kids go to overnight camps.
Thanks for reading, everyone.
PLEASE like, subscribe, comment, rate below, etc! If you have a story to share that could be related to a future episode or this one, email us at bothered@juliekimcomedy.com.
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